Well That Was Awkward
by Crysania
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Because Rumple wears all leather, and moves with a lot of flourish, Charming assumed from the first that the Dark One is gay. So when Rumple bargained for Charming's cloak, he thinks the Dark One is coming on to him.


It's not the first time Charming has met up with the imp. He doubts it will be the last. There's something about him that always makes him just a little bit uncomfortable. He's not sure what it is. Maybe it's the leather pants, clinging just a little too tight to be decent. Charming wears leather too, but they don't fit like a second skin. Maybe it's the flamboyant vests, the low-cut shirts, the decorative sleeves.

It's _definitely_ in the way he moves around him, flits, prances, the way his voice goes up into a high register and he claps with a strangely childlike glee when things go his way. When they deal, he gets close, too close. He can see the whites of his wide reptilian eyes and the way the man, the _imp_, looks at him is…well…disconcerting to say the least.

There's just something _off_ there, something different, something odd. He spends perhaps too much time contemplating what exactly is _wrong_ with Rumplestiltskin. Well, what's wrong besides the strange scaly skin, the glittery look to it, the creepy eyes, the hair that looks like it hasn't seen a comb in years. There's plenty _odd_ about the imp, really.

But he wonders.

How can he not?

And he isn't the type to worry, not really at least. But Rumplestiltskin seems to have taken a _liking_ to him, showing up when he least expects it, asking things of him, getting far too close. He never touches, but there are times when his hand comes close and Charming is afraid that will be the moment he'll have to tell him no, he's not interested, he's not _that type_ and he's in love with Snow White thank you very much.

It all comes to a head the day he rushes into the imp's castle and calls for him. Snow White has lost her way and he's not quite sure how. But he knows who it's connected to. Rumplestiltskin. He's been interfering in their lives for what feels like ages now. His _whole_ life, really, though he didn't know about him until the last little bit.

"Rumplestiltskin!" he calls out and only silence greets him. The Dark Castle is cavernous, with open spaces that seem to be entirely unused. There must be more than the rooms he walks into, must be someplace the imp calls home. But he never sees it.

"Ah, the charming prince comes home at last!" The words come from close behind him, too close. And he turns to meet dark eyes that are just barely peering over his shoulder. Rumplestiltskin licks his lips and he tries not to shudder at that.

He steps away and the imp's ridiculously high-pitched giggle greets his ears. "This isn't home," he says and the words sound stupid even to him.

Rumplestiltskin gives him an assessing look, too close, too careful. "Indeed it's not." The words are quiet and serious but the accompanying giggle is not. If it's meant to be off-putting it works. He can't imagine why _else_ he would makes noises like that, somewhere between a teenage girl and a goat.

"I see you're still dressing like a prince." Rumplestiltskin's voice come from close behind him. He's moved around him somehow and Charming is almost sure it's by magic. He never knows with Rumplestiltskin. He moves fast sometimes, but he also likes to use his magic to leave others off-kilter.

"I…yes…" He doesn't quite know what to say when one of Rumplestiltskin's long-nailed fingers comes to pluck at the fur. It's odd watching the fairly tiny imp lean up to touch him on the shoulder. Even wearing his high-heeled boots (and what man wears such things anyway?) he's several inches shorter than him. "I'm here about Snow White. What did you do to her?" He's forced to spin around to keep his eye on Rumplestiltskin as the man just _will not _stop moving.

"I?" The imp's voice goes up slightly in pitch. "What did _I_ do to her?" When he steps closer to Charming, he has to stop himself from backing up a pace. "My darling boy," and Charming shudders at the strange bent to his voice. "I did nothing."

Charming waits for some sort of extrapolation but gets nothing. Just a little giggle, the imp prancing back and away from him. He can't decide if he's being childish or effeminate but either way it gives him a moment of panic. "Then…" he finally manages to choke out.

"You did, my dear." He flits closer, pokes a finger into Charming's chest and this time Charming _does_ back up a few more paces. Rumplestiltskin just smirks. "You caused her pain, did you not? And because of that pain she took the potion I gave her."

"Undo it." He growls the words at the prancing little imp.

"If only it were that easy…" He gives a dramatic sigh and it's all Charming can do to _not_ roll his eyes. "Only an act of true love can ease her pain…"

The imp lets the words trail off and suddenly Charming is _very_ interested. Not interested enough to get close to him, mind. Charming knows to keep his distance. Even if Rumplestiltskin won't.

"Oh _yes_," the imp says and moves closer. "True love will most certainly do it." He walks around Charming and he can feel his eyes look him up and down and it's perhaps the most uncomfortable thing he's ever gone through. And he's chased down dragons and play-acted as his brother and faced down the Evil Queen. But there's something so _unsettling_ in the way the imp looks at him and he never can quite put his finger on _just what_ it is that bothers him.

"True love's kiss. That's all I need." Charming draws himself up. True love he can handle. True love is what he _knows_ he and Snow have. He turns to leave. He has his answers. What else does he need?

"Not so fast." Rumplestiltskin is suddenly in front of him and his hand…_his hand_…it's spread out over his chest, holding him back from his objective. He can feel the warm weight of it there and he just wants to shrink back inside himself, forget the imp ever touched him. "You can't kiss her, dearie, if you can't find her." He lets out another off putting giggle and he is _not_ removing his hand and Charming is frozen to the spot.

"I…"

Rumplestiltskin does some weird flamboyant thing with his other hand and a scroll appears. "This is the route she's taking." He removes his hand briefly from Charming's chest to point at it. "Here is where she will attempt to take the Queen's life." His hand comes back up and touches him again and he steels himself for it this time.

"And your price? There's _always_ a price." He doesn't know why he points it out, really. But there is. There always has been. It's the _one thing_ everyone knows about Rumplestiltskin.

Well, that and that he makes everyone feel uncomfortable. He knows he's not alone in that.

"Indeed there is," the imp responds with and leans closer to him. Charming just clenches his teeth together as the imp seems to study him.

"How about…" And he leans in close, too close. He can almost smell his breath. Or could, if he allowed himself to breath in. Which he doesn't. "Your cloak."

That's _it_. Charming cannot do this anymore. He cannot play at these games. He moves backward quickly, leaving Rumplestiltskin slightly off balance. As the imp catches himself, Charming pulls his sword from its scabbard and holds it out front of him. As if that will keep such a magical being away. "No. Stop. I cannot take this."

"It's just a cloak," Rumplestiltskin says with a shrug. And he's almost sure there's confusion in his eyes. "It gets drafty in here."

Charming keeps him back with his sword. "Look, I don't know what game you're playing. But I am _not_ interested in that."

"In giving up your cloak?" Still with that confusion.

"Look I don't…I love Snow White…I…you're not…that is…" He's tripping over his words. He knows he must look ridiculous and Rumplestiltskin is still staring at him with that furrow between his brow, as if he cannot quite figure out what Charming is on about. Even though he think it should be fairly obvious.

"Rumple!" The voice that comes from somewhere behind him is surprising both in its presence and its strange familiarity with the imp. He whirls around and sees a tiny woman, a good foot shorter than him, walking quickly toward the pair of them. She walks around Charming, pays no mind to the sword that is still hanging impotently in the air. "What have I told you about scaring your visitors?" She says this with a strange sort of amusement as she reaches out and cups the imp's face.

"Yes dear," the imp mutters and did he just capitulate to this tiny woman? The great Rumplestiltskin? She then turns back toward Charming.

"I'm sorry…you are?"

"He's Prince _Charming_!" Rumplestiltskin answers from behind her, his voice going high on his name, or made up name at least, one hand offering up a flamboyant gesture. She turns back and while Charming cannot see the look on her face, he can see the way Rumplestiltskin's manic smile falls.

"I'm David," he answers quickly, not quite sure what is going on.

"Oh of course, Snow White's true love. Rumple has told me so much about you." She steps forward and holds out her hand. "It's so nice to meet you at last."

"Belle, dear," Rumplestiltskin says from behind her and he can hear the exasperation in his voice. Exasperation and something else. Charming cannot quite place it. He cannot quite place what _she_, this _Belle_ is doing there.

"So you two…know each other?" he asks and even to him the words sound pathetic.

Belle just laughs.

"Belle, dear, I'm trying to make a _deal_."

She turns a brilliant smile on the imp. "Of course. By all means. His cloak, did you say?"

Rumplestiltskin nods and Charming hesitates. His cloak. "I…"

"Your cloak then?" Belle asks and holds out her hand. Without even thinking about it Charming takes the cloak off and hands it to her. There's something about her, a commanding presence, and he thinks that might be connected to her seeming control over the imp. Who is decidedly less flamboyant in that moment. Almost…_normal_. "Thank you!" she says brightly and turns back to Rumplestiltskin. "I'll just take this to your room then?" The imp nods. Belle moves closer and Charming cannot look away as her hand comes up to tangle in the imps hair and she presses a brief kiss to his cheek. "And I'll see you later?" There's something suggestive in her voice and he is almost sure he sees color rise on Rumplestiltskin's cheeks.

"Of course," Rumplestiltskin says and there is an unexpected hoarseness to his voice. And then she is gone, leaving the two men rather uncomfortably alone.

"So you and she…" Charming's voice trails off. He's not even sure what he wants to say really.

"Yes," Rumplestiltskin answers quickly and damn him if there isn't a small bit of a besotted look about his face.

"So you're not…" And he doesn't quite know how to finish that sentence.

"Not?"

_Oh God_. He is going to make him say it out loud and Charming really does not want to go there. "You _know_," he says and makes a weird gesture with his hand, reminiscent of the ones the imp makes at his most flamboyant.

There is still that little furrow between his brows and it's odd seeing it there. He looks almost human in that moment, scaly skin and weird eyes and all. "I might see the future, dearie, but I'm not a mind reader," Rumplestiltskin points out.

"I thought you were coming onto me."

"Oh."

"Yeah…oh." He feels a bit of sweat run down his brow, feels a little itch at the nape of his neck.

"Oh," Rumplestiltskin repeats and stares down at his hand, almost like he's seeing it for the first time. "No," he finally says.

"Right," Charming responds with and reaches up to scratch at that itch. "I'll just be going now…to get Snow White?"

Rumplestiltskin shoves the scroll at him and it hits the floor before Charming can react.

"Yes. Good idea then. You go take care of that little problem."

"Right," Charming says again and then grabs the scroll, turns on his heel, and gets the hell out of the place.

As the doors shut behind him, leaving him outside in the fresh air where he can finally _breathe_, he hears Rumplestiltskin's laughter come from behind him. "Belle!" he hears him shout. "You have to come hear this!" And then the doors slam shut and he can hear no more.

Belle may get to hear about his rather awkward encounter with Rumplestiltskin, but he sure as hell wasn't _ever_ going to tell Snow white about this one.


End file.
